Big Fat...

Negative : ( I couldn't wait and I tested Wednesday. It was negative and this morning my period came right on schedule. Yay for predictability I guess, but what a let down. My body was just messing with me. All the nausea, exhaustion and boob fullness was for nothing. I was so disappointed and even cried a little (okay, a lot) this morning. This cycle is a bust and I know there is always next cycle, but I am still sad and wondering why it didn't happen this time. For whatever reason it didn't and I want to look toward the future and the next time we can try again. So today I can be sad and disappointed and tomorrow is a new day. That's all I have for today.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Big Week Ahead

Two posts in one day, crazy I know! Since there's only 10 days left in the month, I figure why not? Each month I say I'm going to get better at blogging and each month happens by and I don't. What is your secret? How do you do it? I certainly enjoy reading other's blogs, but can't seem to discipline myself enough to write my own. Maybe July will be different?

This week is most of the usual, dinner tonight at my mom's, dinner Tuesday at mother-in-law's, running errands, cleaning, laundry and possibly taking a home pregnancy test (HPT)!!! I say possibly because my period is supposed to come on Friday and if it does not, I will take the HPT. I actually want to take it right now, but am afraid. What if its negative? What if its positive? I am 10 days past ovulation today, so it really is too soon (or so I am telling myself). I have been experiencing nausea since Saturday, but am also wondering if my mind/body are playing tricks on me.

If it is negative and I get my period, then we try again next month. If it is positive, I will be excited, but also cautiously optimistic. I think until our baby is here, in our arms, and we get the all clear, I will be guarded. I will do my best not to stress out because I know that is not good for baby, but I think it is a natural reaction for anyone who has experienced loss before. To want something so much and know you might not get it this time either is tough, but I will deal with it the best way I can. By surrounding myself with a great support system and remembering to breathe and relax. Wish me luck and I'll keep you updated!

We Have a Playroom!

After some talking we decided to turn our theater room into Ayden's playroom. His toys were taking over our living room and we wanted a safe area for him to play in. David was a bit sad at having to say goodbye to the red walls and black ceiling, but he was a trooper and I'm glad we made the change. Having an area for Ayden where I can leave him to do laundry, fix dinner and not have to worry he'll get into something he shouldn't is so nice!

Here's the room before:

It took three coats of primer on the ceiling and walls, red & black are not so easy to cover up:

We chose a color called Surfer Waves at Lowe's. I thought it was a nice calming blue color, then it went up on the walls:

It isn't horrible, but not the color I was expecting. I love the mat we have down on the floor. Now I need to decorate the walls. Any suggestions?

June Already?

I can't believe the year is half over. How does time go by so fast? At the end of the month we'll have been married for two years! Not sure what we'll be doing on our anniversary but hopefully a vacation will be in our future. We haven't gone anywhere since our honeymoon, so I think we're due.

A lot has happened in the last month. I have walked faithfully at least four days a week and usually it is five. I am loving it! It is so nice that three days a week I have someone to walk with and then the other two days Ayden and I get out and walk. We have had a lot of rain lately so some days were a wash, but it looks like the weather is making a turn for the better. Hopefully the sun will keep shining and the weather will stay warm.

I have also been better at eating healthier foods. I am really trying not to bring junk food into the house and if I do want something I make sure to buy a small portion not a big bag of candy or cookies or whatever I may be craving. We have an East Coast Custard store at the end of our street. David and I have said if we want to go there, we will walk. I don't know how far it is but I'm guessing at least 3/4-1 mile. I am trying to get all the processed food out of our house and once it is gone I am going to start us on a healthy fresh food track. Now that it is summer, it should be easier to accomplish this with all the farmer's markets and fruit/veggies that are in season. I need to start cooking more meals at home. D is always asking when I'm going to start cooking, well D, it will begin soon! The payoff for all of this change? I've lost 4 pounds! I'll take it.

The other exciting thing is that this is our first month we will be trying for baby #2 again. I am nervous and excited and have a bunch of thoughts running through my mind. I'm trying not to stress about all the ifs, but its hard. I will just take one day at a time and put my faith in God that it will all work out the way it is supposed to.

I also had a birthday this week. Another year older and I am having a hard time with this one. I had a wonderful birthday weekend though. I got a mani and pedi, we went to the wineries with some friends, had dinner with my mom, grilled out and I got to sleep in on my birthday. That was heavenly! All in all, life is good and I'm ready to see what the month of June and the rest of the year will bring.