Baby #2 Update

Today I am 4weeks and 2 days pregnant! We found out on Friday and were overjoyed. I am trying to be optimistic, but it is hard to not think of the miscarriage and worry at every little twinge or pain. Yesterday I had a backache all day and it is back again today. I am telling myself to breathe and that the outcome is out of my hands. I have prayed for the chance to have another baby, and hopefully that prayer has been answered. Now I am piecing together the milestones I need to make it to, for a hopefully positive end result. Here are the first four:

Milestone#1-3 weeks from today, I will be 7w, 2d pregnant which is a day past when I miscarried last time.

Milestone#2-October 12th, my first OB appointment. Also the day after milestone #1.

Milestone #3-TBD-next OB appointment, where we can hear baby's heartbeat.

Milestone #4-20 week ultrasound.

More milestones will be added as the pregnancy progresses. I promise this will not turn into a baby blog, but you have been there for me in the rough times, and I wanted you here for the good times too.

Big Fat...

Negative : ( I couldn't wait and I tested Wednesday. It was negative and this morning my period came right on schedule. Yay for predictability I guess, but what a let down. My body was just messing with me. All the nausea, exhaustion and boob fullness was for nothing. I was so disappointed and even cried a little (okay, a lot) this morning. This cycle is a bust and I know there is always next cycle, but I am still sad and wondering why it didn't happen this time. For whatever reason it didn't and I want to look toward the future and the next time we can try again. So today I can be sad and disappointed and tomorrow is a new day. That's all I have for today.

I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Big Week Ahead

Two posts in one day, crazy I know! Since there's only 10 days left in the month, I figure why not? Each month I say I'm going to get better at blogging and each month happens by and I don't. What is your secret? How do you do it? I certainly enjoy reading other's blogs, but can't seem to discipline myself enough to write my own. Maybe July will be different?

This week is most of the usual, dinner tonight at my mom's, dinner Tuesday at mother-in-law's, running errands, cleaning, laundry and possibly taking a home pregnancy test (HPT)!!! I say possibly because my period is supposed to come on Friday and if it does not, I will take the HPT. I actually want to take it right now, but am afraid. What if its negative? What if its positive? I am 10 days past ovulation today, so it really is too soon (or so I am telling myself). I have been experiencing nausea since Saturday, but am also wondering if my mind/body are playing tricks on me.

If it is negative and I get my period, then we try again next month. If it is positive, I will be excited, but also cautiously optimistic. I think until our baby is here, in our arms, and we get the all clear, I will be guarded. I will do my best not to stress out because I know that is not good for baby, but I think it is a natural reaction for anyone who has experienced loss before. To want something so much and know you might not get it this time either is tough, but I will deal with it the best way I can. By surrounding myself with a great support system and remembering to breathe and relax. Wish me luck and I'll keep you updated!