We've had our new window treatments for awhile now. I just haven't blogged about them yet. Now that it will hopefully be spring soon (it is only in the 30s today). I am getting motivated to get some stuff done around the house. Back in Novemeber we had new windows put in our house, you can read about it here. Along with the new windows, we needed to get some blinds or shades in the house. We decided to go with Roman shades and we love them! Here's some pictures:
Our living room:
Ayden's bedroom:
Our bedroom:
Now I have two more rooms I want to get in order. Our lower level we want to turn into the playroom. It used to be our theater room until a flood back in 2007 ruined it and we had to tear the carpet up and we haven't done anything to it. As you can see , it is now a storage room. Here is what it looks like now:
This next room is our guest bedroom and I can't believe how bad it has gotten. Obviously no one can stay in it right now. I just began putting clothes Ayden grew out of on the bed and it has gotten out of hand. Can't figure out a place to put something, throw it in the bedroom. My mission is the get this room in tip top shape ASAP. I have more pictures of the disaster area but for right now this is all you get. Wish me luck!
Anyone else doing some major cleanup in their house?
A week ago today, we got some sad news and it had to do with our trying for baby #2. You can read about it below.
I don't know if it has something to do with the warm weather (it was in the 70's yesterday and today) or if I am just feeling more at peace, but I am feeling more like myself. Yesterday was a great day spent with family and this morning Ayden and I got to go for a walk in that park. I was smiling and loved pointing things out to him. He is so full of wonderment. I know things will be all right and while we had a major setback, we will get through this and be stronger for it. I am grateful for so many things and while I still have moments of sadness and break down crying, these instances are becoming less frequent and I have a renewed sense of hope. Here are a couple pictures of the plant David brought home for me/us last Tuesday. Watching the plant grow and bloom has also helped me through this process and while I still need to wait for April 21st for complete closure, it will be here and we will have our plan of what to do next.
I came downstairs Thursday morning (April 7th) and all 3 plants had opened and bloomed. This would have been our first ultrasound appointment.
Today the flowers are getting taller and more are opened. Excuse the chaos of life going on behind the flowers.
As I have said before in posts, we want to add to our family. My OB told me we needed to wait until at least nine months postpartum. David and I talked about it and decided February was the month we'd begin trying to conceive baby #2. March 9th I took my first pregnancy test and a very faint line showed up, the next day I tested again. I wasn't late but was feeling nauseous. I then waited 4 days after AF was supposed to be here (March 17th) and tested again and got the definitive dark line. We were pregnant! We were in shock and couldn't believe our luck. I called the doctor and our first appointment was scheduled for April 7th. I am writing this April 5th.
Beginning on March 25th, I started to spot. I was a little worried but it is a totally normal happening and it was brown or pink, so no cause for concern. Then April 1st there is red blood. I call the OB office and the nurse says since it is still to early for an ultrasound I needed to do blood draws that day (Friday) and Sunday. They would look at the levels of hCG (the pregnancy hormome) and the number should rise on Sunday. It should actually double. I would also be 7 weeks pregnant on Sunday. So I go and get blood drawn Friday. I hate getting blood drawn because they have a hard time finding veins on me, luckily I only had to be pricked once. I called the OB later on Friday because I was passing some clots and was concerned. She said that was a good sign and that my results were back, my hCG level was a little over 4000, which is very good. Saturday the bleeding increased and I was having some cramping. Called the on call doc and she said if I am doubling over in pain or bleeding through a pad in 15 minutes I needed to go to the ER. I wasn't and was once again relieved at the answers. Sunday morning (April 3rd) comes around I am more optimistic even though I'm bleeding more. I just had a great feeling that things were going to be fine. After I get back from the hospital we go to a train museum and lunch. When we get home I got some bad cramping and thought it was gas pains. So I go to the bathroom, change my pad and go downstairs. I decide after 15 minutes to check my pad because something isn't feeling right. I pass a huge clot and the pad is soaked through. We are now making a trip to the ER.
We dropped Ayden off at my mother-in-law's and get to the ER around 4. When I get out of the car I look on the seat and there's bood. They took me back right away and the lab tech comes in to draw 4 vials of blood-ugh! My arms are so bruised it is horrible. The ER doc doesn't see me until 5:30 and says he'll do a pelvic and then I need an ultrasound. He doesn't come back to do the pelvic until around 6:30 and it was the most uncomfortable 10 minutes of my life. We got great news, my cervix was closed! The ultrasound tech comes and gets me soon after, we start the scan and she points to where the baby should be and there is nothing there. Then she moves around a bit and sees a sac and there is our baby. Not where he/she should be but there is a baby there. She does her required scans and then goes back to where the baby is. She moves around and we see our baby and we see the heart beating! She was so kind and we asked if this could be a viable pregnancy and she said she doesn't know. We got back to my room in the ER and wait for the results. Around 8:30, the new ER doc who I liked much better gave us the news. The baby's heart was beating at 144bpm and was in my uterus, just not where he/she should be. The baby was also measuring 6 weeks and a few days. The doctor basically said it is up to my body and the baby what will happen. The baby could move to where they need to go if they like being there or things could happen and I would have a miscarriage. I was to be on bed rest and call my OB to make a follow up appointment. We have gone though so many emotions in the 6 hours at the ER and are thinking this baby is a fighter and we will do whatever we need to for this baby to be carried to term.
Monday comes around (April 4th). David stayed home from work to take care of Ayden and me. I stayed in bed and rested and he brought me breakfast. I getting ready to call my OB and they call me. My Sunday numbers went up to 5300-something, that isn't double and they want me to come in for an ultrasound to see what is going on. I tell them about my ER visit and they can access those records. I make an appointment for 1pm. We are still optimistic at this point. My OB comes in and we just sit and talk before she does her thing. I love her, she is the best and really takes time for her patients. We were probably in there for 45 minutes. Basically she told us we are playing a waiting game and since her equipment is not as good as the ER, we need to come back in two weeks for a follow up ultrasound. She tells us what I already know-60% of pregnancies don't make it out of the first trimester and of those 60%, 90% of the babies have a genetic defect and that is why they do not survive. So if you stop and think about it, getting pregnant and keeping the pregnancy to term is a miracle. We were hoping to be that miracle. She also shared her experience that she had seven miscarriages before she had her now 15 year old daughter-seven! She also told us that men and women react differently to miscarriage, it is all right to mourn and that her husband really didn't understand what she was going though. David agreed with that statement, it is happening to my body, so I am bit more emotional than he is. However, he loves me and his concern is about how I am handling things. She told us nothing can prevent a miscarriage if it is going to happen and whether I sat on my butt or ran a marathon, if I was going to miscarry, I was going to miscarry. So the bed rest restriction was lifted. She also told us if we miscarry that I most likely won't have to have a D&C and we can try again after one complete cycle of my period. She did her exam and said she thinks my cervix is opening. She still had me go to the lab and do all the pregnancy blood work-6 vials of blood.
April 21st is our next scheduled ultrasound and I know what it is going to show. Nothing. I am 99% sure the baby passed Monday night. My heart is breaking and while I know it is not my fault, I wonder what I did wrong to cause this to happen. Did I do something bad and this is my punishment from God? Isn't having baby #2 supposed to be easy? Why, why, why? I want the answer to a question that has no answers to give. So yea, April kind of sucks right now. But you know what? I have a wonderful husband who brought me a beautiful plant home today and just kissed and hugged me and let me cry on his shoulder. Thanks D for putting up with my mood swings and crying and all the stuff that isn't too fun. You take great care of me and I love you. I also have the most perfect boy that makes me smile through my tears and makes me grateful every day. If he is the only child we ever have I will be happy because he is pure joy. My greatest wish is to give him a sibling and hopefully one day that wish will come true. For right now our journey to child #2 has taken a detour and we are along for the ride.
I am so glad it's Saturday! This was a long, stressful and sad week. I am doing better, not great but better. I am on the mend and looking forward to family time this weekend. So why am I blogging at 11:45am on Saturday? David is at the dentist and Ayden is down for a nap. It is me time right now and right now I wanted to blog. We have a busy weekend. Today we will probably go to the park since the weather is going to be in the 60's. We have my cousin's Sweet 16 surprise party tonight. Tomorrow we are celebrating my brother-in-law's birthday too. I'm bummed I am going to miss out on the cake, but really isn't it about spending time with family? April is a month of celebrations for us and I am getting closer to being myself and feeling happy. I think I am getting close to sharing my story with you too. I already blogged about it, just haven't published it yet.
I've been a bad blogger this past month. Shame on me. I miss it, I really do, but for some reason I have not been in the mood to blog. Maybe it is the lack of sweets in my life, although I must say I'm doing better than I thought I would. Plus not having sweets in the house is a wonderful thing. I don't crave them like I used to when we had cookies or candy or ice cream in the house. Although I am counting down until April 24th when I can have the box of Thin Mints in my freezer. Yum! The beginning of April has not been kind to me. I am not ready to share that story yet and don't know if I will, but the worst is behind me and now I need to look forward and move on. Besides at the end of this month Ayden will be turning one and we will be celebrating David's birthday two days after. Good things are ahead and I am looking forward to celebrating with the two guys in my life. I also need to figure out what to do for Ayden's birthday party. We have the location and theme set, now I need to put all the other details into place. I will be blogging about that. I promise this month I'll do better.
Saturday was a wonderful and magnificent day! I had my pedicure scheduled for 10:30am and had an hour and a half being pampered.I love my nail tech and she had no one after me, so she spoiled me a bit. Here is the finished product, the camera doesn't do the nail polish justice. I think I have found my new springtime color. It is purple and has a lot of sparkle, I love it!
OPI DS Extravagance
After my toes were dry I went to a good friend's house to catch up. I was gone for about four and a half hours and after that I felt recharged and ready to spend the weekend with the two men in my life. We went to my Mother-in-Law's house when I got home and then after Ayden was put in bed, David and I rented Due Date on-Demand. I am not even going to put a picture up of this movie. Don't waste your time. I didn't expect Oscar worthy performances but I did expect a decent movie. I lost interest about twenty minutes in. This movie has been done so many times and I was really pulling for the Robert Downey Jr./ Zach Galifianakis pairing. Ugh is all I can say. I love RDJ and really enjoyed ZG in The Hangover but they could not save this movie. The premise of the movie is RDJ's character needs to get home to his wife who is nine month pregnant. He and ZD cross paths at the airport and one thing after another happens that keeps preventing RDJ from getting there, or does he? I won't tell you in case you do want to see it, but really, don't.
Sunday we went to church, had lunch out and then rented another movie when A went to bed. This time we had a winner:
What a great movie! I didn't know what it was about and thought it would be a good light-hearted chick flick to pass the time. Was I wrong but I am so glad I was. It was a chick flick, but not light-hearted. Here is the description from IMDb: Maggie (Anne Hathaway) is an alluring free spirit who won't let anyone - or anything - tie her down. But she meets her match in Jamie (Jake Gyllenhaal), whose relentless and nearly infallible charm serve him well with the ladies and in the cutthroat world of pharmaceutical sales. Maggie and Jamie's evolving relationship takes them both by surprise, as they find themselves under the influence of the ultimate drug: love.
I like both Anne and Jake and was curious about this movie. I don't want to give anything away because I want you all to see this movie, but I wonder if my view of this movie was skewed a bit. I have dealt with one of the issues in this movie, and it really touched home and I was crying at a few points in the movie. It brought up a lot of memories, feelings and fears for David and I (well my fears). See this movie and let me know what you think. Just make sure you have your tissues handy.
That was my weekend and I am ready to face a new week!
Warning: this is my own pity party for a bit and then I promise it will get better.
Hello! It's been awhile and I have missed blogging. But lately, for some reason I have been in a funk and I don't know why. Part of it is the weather I'm sure (come on Spring), but the other part is just something in me. I am ready for a change and tired of being unsatisfied with me. I am tired of not having clothes to wear because they don't fit me or being self-conscious about what I am wearing. I want to be able to go outside for walks with Ayden and just in general be more active. I can't help that since it is cold and snowing or raining depending on the day. I know I am the problem and I need to change my outlook, so starting today NO MORE EXCUSES! I have a ton of them too. I am the only one who can change my attitude, so I am going to change starting today.
Does anyone else get like this? Help.
Here's what I'm going to do: I am going to exercise more and consistently. I am not a fan of the treadmill right now but too bad, it is going to help me lose weight and be more confident. Until I can go outside everyday, the treadmill is my exercise source. I am going to eat better, I do pretty well now but there is always room for improvement. Plus I have a wicked sweet tooth, I honestly believe if I did not like sweets I would be thin. I am seriously considering giving up sweets for Lent. I am going to state something positive about me everyday and take time for myself. I do not do that often enough and with David traveling for work I do put myself last. Even if it is only 5 minutes, those will be MY five minutes. I want to be healthier and better for me, David and Ayden, as well as the other child we hope to add to our family soon. OK enough of that, moving on.
I am also majorly PMS-ing. Yesterday Ayden was taking all of my CD's off of the shelf and I was looking though them. I found a CD I was looking for, thanks Little Man. It had a song on there I wanted to learn and sing to A. So I put the CD in and listened to most of it. Once it got to that song, I was just watching A playing and starting balling. I'm actually tearing up writing this now. Damn you hormones! Are you in suspense about what it is, well here you go. I love the Dixie Chicks and this song is so beautiful. I know there was a big uproar with Natalie Maines' comments about former President Bush, but we all have a right to free speech and she chose to speak her mind, deal with the consequences and move on. Too bad others haven't. I saw them in concert and Natalie has an amazing voice and Martie and Emily are great too. Hearing the background behind the song also brings tears to me. Enjoy!
I also found my Sara Bareilles CD that I had been looking for and another song, which is my all time favorite song is Gravity. That should of been the song I listed when I started this blog and we had to list our favorite song. The Allison Krauss song was the first song that popped in my head though, so I went with that. Anyways, I went and saw SB in concert when she played at the House of Blues, which in my opinion was a perfect venue for her because it was more intimate than a large arena. I got to meet her at a small meet and greet earlier that afternoon which was amazing. She played a couple songs, autographed CD's for us and I even got my picture taken with her!
When she played Gravity, it gave me goosebumps. She was so nice and I hope she tours again soon with her new album out. Here is the song:
So those were two things that made me weepy last night. Enough about that.
I am so ready for the weekend! Some reasons why I am thankful the weekend is here:
1) David will be home from his business trip so we'll get to spend the weekend together.
2) I am getting some "me" time on Saturday and decided to treat myself to a pedicure. The last pedicure I had was before Ayden was born, so almost a year ago. My feet are in desperate need of some TLC.
3) Good friends are coming over Saturday night.
